Thursday, November 21, 2013
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Uplifting Change Through Healing Words Partnering ...: Domestic violence outreach is critical. This is especially true when many mothers are wondering how they will get a tree let alone gifts ...
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words Partnering with Angels Haven to Launch the new Angel’s Tree Program
Domestic violence outreach is critical. This is especially true when many mothers are wondering how they will get a tree let alone gifts for their children this year. The holidays is a hard time for the survivors of domestic violence. Their hearts and their homes are already broken. Some even feel so hopeless that they return to their abusers thinking that they were right.
It is up to us to help these women and children. Your donations will get gifts and Christmas trees for those who need it most. A small donation doesn’t only restore Christmas, but it also restores hope.
We cannot let these families down. No child should lose their parent, home and see their mother abused only to wake up on Christmas morning with nothing. We have to help, but we cannot do it alone. This is going to take a village.
Please look into your heart and find the spirit of the season. Help a family in need today. Every little bit counts, and the time is running out to make a difference. Help us spread the word, and restore hope to the hopeless.
Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. 14But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Your Donations This Holiday Season can Turn a Vict...: Where your money goes, and how you can help. These women and children need our help. Funds from the government are almost nonexiste...
Where your money goes, and how you can help.
These women and children need our help. Funds from the government are almost nonexistent. They may be stuck in the violence or they could be finally free from it, in hiding and worried about how they will make ends meet. This is where you and Uplifting Change Through Healing Words can be there to make the difference.
Abuse and domestic violence leaves lifelong scars, but healing is possible. The scars are not just left on the victim that directly suffered, but also on the silent victims, their children. These women and children need to have a lifeline when they get the courage to break free, and they need to be educated on how to break the cycles of abuse.
Their lives can be changed just by making a donation the size of what you would pay in a week for Starbucks. Your gift to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words will allow us to provide services to the victims to release them or keep them from returning to their abusers.
Donations allow us to take crises calls, educate the community and the victims, council the children, help with bills and referrals, help women and children to safely relocate and so much more.
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words can continue to be an answer to many prayers of abused women and children (in most cases) who desperately need our help. However, this is only possible with your help. Your donations will not only restore hope, but it will transform lives. Please partner with us today with anything that you can spare to make a difference today.
A donation of $30 will cover around 10 crises calls, $60 will help us to get one family to a local shelter and $100 will provide an hour of counseling, help with a light bill, some rent assistance or make all of the difference whether or not a family will have a Christmas meal, gifts or even a tree.
You Can Make A Difference!
Even if 10 people gave $5 that adds up to $50, so every little bit helps these women and children, the elderly and sometimes even men out of these horrific circumstances. There are a lot of families out there who need you, and they have nowhere else to turn.
While donations of toys, warm clothing, shoes, even Christmas trees and decorations, personal care products and the like are all welcome donations this time of year at local Domestic Violence Shelters we ask that you help us reach father through your financial contribution to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words.
Financial contributions will help these healing families with housing, awareness, counseling, rent and utility assistance, legal issues and so much more. We can’t do it without you. Please, don’t turn them away. By simply donating any amount that you can you will change a life.
Please see the donations link at the bottom of the post to make a difference in the life of one family that will last a lifetime.
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Psalm 82:3-4 (#3 of 20 Bible Verses about the Poor) 3 Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. 4Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Domestic Violence Awareness: Are You Living With a...: While we are on a mission to gather funds to help the victims of domestic violence especially through the holidays it is important to also ...
While we are on a mission to gather funds to help the victims of domestic violence especially through the holidays it is important to also bring awareness to end it.
Narcissistic people’s traits are the fundamental source of self-love, self-empowerment and self-value. While everyone can have some signs of narcissism, you know when you have encountered a true narcissist. A real narcissist will have pathological traits that are akin to schizophrenia. For the people around a narcissist the world can become a very volatile and cold place.
If you recognize the following traits then getting help or getting out is crucial, but you don’t just leave a narcissist. You will need help, and you cannot go back because despite their charm and soothe words they will be set on revenge, and a narcissist never ever forgets. They are cunning and unpredictable with a darkness in the pit of their being incomprehensible to the rest of the world. They are camellias, so many times they can even cause you to question your own sanity.
Strong narcissistic behaviors include but are not limited to the following:
A narcissist requires attention from other people. They prefer flattery, being put on a pedestal and everyone to love them but they will take negative attention if that is all that they can get. They want to be the center of the conversation and the center of attention all of the time. They will do their best to eliminate anyone or anything they feel is diverting your full attention from them, their needs, their want and the like. Their reality revolves around them.
They cannot stand it when they are not being admired. They are ego dystonic. This means that the narcissist will have thoughts and exhibit behaviors that contradict their self-image, and to dumb it up even more, they are not what they have made themselves believe they are. If you have ever wondered something along the lines of “does he or she really believe the things he says” well he or she probably does. Their reality is not the same as ours.
A narcissist does not care about clashing. They can become very abusive, and ultimately it is not ever their fault in their mind. They always blame others, and believe that the others or you are at fault. They are incapable of blaming themselves. They will even try to convince you to no end of how it is your or someone else’s fault.
The narcissist vilifies and criticizes others, but if someone points out their faults it is setting the stage for a war. They love praise but will discredit praise that they hear lavished on others.
They expect a ton of things of others, but you cannot ask the narcissist for a favor. They are often misleading and dishonest, but won’t admit the truth even if they are caught red-handed. What they will do is turn it around on someone else or say you deserved it.
Narcissists are masters of disguise. They are convincing liars, and they will have the world thinking you have a happy family when in fact the home is in turmoil. They will always have a faithful following that believes everything is your fault. They will collect evidence and even falsify evident to use against and control you or others. They will hurt you in any and every possible way that they can even at the expense of their own children.
A narcissist will fabricate and exaggerate things to mold a situation to their favor. They have a caviler disrespect for their partner over time that begins to turn into constant emotional and mental abuse. They feel they are entitled to be treated special and that they should have special privileges. Many don’t even have control over their own body when they live with a narcissist.
Narcissists are inter-personally exploitative and they won’t hesitate to take advantage of another person to achieve their goal. They will do anything to achieve their ends. They have no regard for what their actions and words or their choices will affect others. Some even wonder if they can feel empathy or if they even have a soul. They are either unwilling or completely unable to identify with the needs or the feelings of another person. They are almost sociopaths.
They are jealous hearted to the core, and rather than admitting that they think others are jealous of them. They control the family and the family’s finances. They are almost always haughty and arrogant.
Narcissistic traits can vary because there is more than one type of narcissism, which ultimately is a personality disorder. He or she must be the center of everything and their needs is all that matters. While in public he or she may withdraw, smile or be the superb master of disguise (ever so charming), in the home he or she will throw a tantrum.
His public face is never the face (or rarely the face) seen in the home. The face that is exposed in the home is real, while the public face is a mere disguise.
In private he can lecture for hours, he wants to cut ties between you and the rest of the world, your family is a threat to him, if he cannot turn you against them then he will try to burn every bridge by turning them against you.
He will swear, insult, criticize and condemn while nothing you do will ever be good enough for the narcissist. When he wants something it is like nothing ever happened. The narcissist can even make an attack seem like a casual conversation and leave you looking or feeling like the out of control one.
PROJECTION is one of the narcissist’s favorite tools.
This is when the narcissist projects things that they are doing onto you. If the narcissist accuses you constantly of something they are probably doing it themselves. They project their wrongdoing, their behaviors and their negative or hurt feelings onto you. When the narcissist isn’t happy nobody’s happy. Listen carefully to your narcissist, it can give away things that they are thinking, planning and doing.
The narcissist craves sympathy. He will paint a bad picture of everyone in your and his life including you (unless he is dependent on you for something). Children pick up on parent’s behaviors. A visitor may come to the house, and both parents will be calm while the child is being loud or displaying bossy or angry behaviors. They pick up what happens behind closed doors and are often a window into the reality of the home.
A narcissist will endlessly criticize his own family and friends. He or she often thinks that people are out to get him, using him or plotting against him. The narcissist often borderlines schizophrenia in this area. Some times are more intense than others, but he or she will affixiate on people thinking that they are in some personal attack or plot against them. Seemingly everyone in the narcissist’s life will take a turn being the enemy.
Again, these are publicly charming people who give you just enough humanity to hold on. When you live with a narcissist it is emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting. It seems like they leave you emotionally desolate and wondering why you can never get anything right.
People who adjust to life with a narcissist will become ill, depressed and maybe even suicidal. Some have even reported even feeling so hopelessly trapped by the narcissist that their own mental well-being was at jeopardy and the narcissist had caused them to think of harming them to just stop the pain. If you reach this point you must get out. Sometimes the bonds that hold us exist only in the mind of us and the narcissist.
Unfortunately the narcissist does have the ability to make great impressions on others. For this reason they can damage the reputation of almost anyone if they set their mind to it.
IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST
The deadly charm of a narcissist can cause total emotional desolation and complete isolation of their victim. It is hard for any abused woman to reach out for help, but a woman in the grips of narcissistic abuse it is almost impossible. They fear the charm of their narcissist will turn the table on her making her look like the abuser through their amazing ability of projection. Oftentimes the fear of not being believed and the consequences that such a seemingly heartless individual is capable of is crippling.
The rage of a narcissist is something no one ever wants to face. They are relentless, ruthless and unpredictable. Their rage sometimes shocks even them, and it is uncontrollable. Their rage rarely if ever surfaces in public because they won’t run the risk of being exposed. The emotional abuse in a narcissistic relationship is incomprehensible, and if they ever resort to physical violence it too is unimaginably horrific. They torture their victim on every level. Their attacks can go on for days or weeks. Most people that encounter the couple will never even pick up on the abuse.
These are controlling, non-empathetic and dangerous individuals who are masterminds of abuse and control.
IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS THEY FEEL THEY HAVE CONDITIONED YOU TO ACCEPT THEIR ABUSE.
You have to take your identity, self-esteem and your life back. Leaving an abusive relationship is dangerous, but leaving a narcissist is deadly. They will try to destroy you and everyone around you. The only thing that you can do is contact a domestic violence outreach program and relocate.
You cannot ever communicate with the narcissist again, and you will have to hide from this person for the rest of your life. If they find you then you will have to go into hiding deeper. As long as they know where you are they will get to you at any cost. Leave the narcissist before they kill you either physically or spiritually.
They will push you to suicide or worse. You have to let go, and in light of it all it is the best thing that you will ever do for your children even if you worry about them being in a single pat=rent home.
Leaving the Narcissist
Don’t pack your bags without a safety plan, and do not give the narcissist any inclination that you are leaving. You may have to walk away from everything but your cloths and documents, but at least you will have your life. Leaving a person with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is the most dangerous time for a victim. Even if they give you permission to leave don’t do it with them being aware of it. You must be careful.
Call the national Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-877-988-5559 if you are in an abusive relationship. You are not alone.
Click Here to Donate to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words to Help These Women find Their Way out of the War-zone they have been Conditioned to call Home.
If they finally get the nerve to call we have to be there.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Donate to Domestic Violence Outreach this Holiday ...: Domestic violence outreach programs have been hit hard by lack of funding and budget cuts. As the funding decreases the amount of domes...
Domestic violence outreach programs have been hit hard by lack of funding and budget cuts. As the funding decreases the amount of domestic violence related crimes during the holiday season will double and in some places even triple.
While it is urgent to get toys, clothing and the like to your local shelters it is also vital to support programs like Uplifting Change Through Healing Words.
Many of these women have exited the shelters and are now struggling single moms. These women are worried about making ends meet, paying the bills and getting holiday meals or gifts for their children. Uplifting Change Through Healing Words can and will get the funds to where they are needed to really make a difference. However, it is up to the community to get involved.
Uplifting change through healing words is a program that strives to help the victims of domestic violence as well as bring community awareness that will expose it and eventually stop abusers in their tracks.
There has never been a more important time to help, and when better than the holidays when the spirit is one of giving and these families need your help more than ever. Even if you can only give a few dollars it will add up.
We must become out sisters keepers and stop domestic violence. These women need our support. Please help us empower them through your donations by clicking here. You can also visit my Facebook page to offer your own Uplifting Words. We look forward to seeing you there.
Remember everything counts. We need you, but most of all they need you. Please do not put off this critical need in the community and in the homes of these women and children who are struggling daily. The blessings that will come back to you will be innumerable. After all, it is the meek at heart that will inherit the kingdom of God.
What Scripture Says?
Prov. 19:17 When you help the poor you are lending to the Lord--and he pays wonderful interest on your loan!
1 John 3:17 But if someone who is supposed to be a Christian has money enough to live well, and sees a brother in need, and won't help him--how can God's love be within him ?
1 John 3:18Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions.
1 John 3:19 Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side, and our consciences will be clear, even when we stand before the Lord.
Please Support Uplifting Change Through Healing Words with Your Donations and Prayers.
God bless you, and happy holidays.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : You can Make a Difference for a Family in Need thi...: You can make the difference in the life of a mother who wouldn't have made it without you this holiday season. The holidays are a de...
You can make the difference in the life of a mother who wouldn't have made it without you this holiday season.
The holidays are a desolate time for families in need, but none more than the single mother who just broke free from a domestic violence situation. For them these are scary and uncertain times. Many times they put on a strong face for their children by day, and they cry themselves to sleep at night worrying about tomorrow.
Not only these women survivors of domestic violence, many of them have had their confidence and self esteem beaten to almost nothing. While they are in the middle of healing the holidays can cause them to feel very defeated.
Many may even be tempted to return to their abuser for fear of not being able to make it (just like their abuser said they wouldn't be able to do). These are women who are struggling to make their ends meet, put food on the table, get the basic necessities for themselves, their children and their home as well as worrying about things like how they will make Christmas happen for their children.
In the spirit of the holidays it has never been a better time to help. Toys, winter clothing, shoes, coats, gently used furniture, Christmas trees and decorations and funds can all be donated and it will really make a difference in the lives of these families.
These women can use help with their utilities, rent and other basic essentials. They need our help. This is especially true with the government funding being cut to almost nothing or eliminated altogether for many Domestic Violence programs.
We cannot let these women feel that they cannot make it hence reinforcing their abusers words that most likely still ring in their ears. We have to join together in the true sense of giving and make a difference. We are our sisters keeper.
You can make toy, clothing, tree and food donations at your local shelters. Funds can be donated to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words for assistance with bills, rent and the like. Don’t let these women fall between the cracks. If we ban together they can make it with the support of the community and domestic violence outreach programs like Uplifting Change Through Healing Words.
You can contact me on my Facebook page and donations can be submitted by clicking here. Give the gift of a better tomorrow this holiday season and make the difference in the life of a family in need today.
"Charity begins at home, but should not end there"- Thomas Fuller
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Domestic Violence during the Holiday Season is not...: Are you in a dv situation? What are the types of dv, what are the effects dv has on children and a lot more. Education is freedom, not ...
Domestic Violence during the Holiday Season is not only Very real but it will Increase; What we as a Community Need to Know
Are you in a dv situation? What are the types of dv, what are the effects dv has on children? Education is freedom, not just for the people suffering from DV but for their family, neighbors, friends and passersby. It is a matter of life and death.
Domestic violence is everybody’s problem. However, a lot of times people choose not to see, or they simply do not recognize the signs. Children are traumatized, women broken, elderly abused and lives lost right under our noses, and all of the time there was something we could have done about it. We as a community must do our part to recognize, reach out and help families who are struggling with this epidemic. It is more common than you think. Let’s take a look at DV.
I warn you some content and images may be troubling. Still, they are very real, and it is time to expose domestic violence for the devil and evil that it really is.
Domestic Violence and the Holidays
While we go through our holiday festivities know that abuse in many homes is escalating. Don’t count donations to domestic violence charities, outreach programs and local shelters out, because they need you now more than ever throughout the holiday season.
Some think it may be the pressure of the holidays, the memories from childhood or other stressors that cause tempers to flare up during the holidays, but the truth is no one really knows, sometimes not even the abuser and certainly not the people being abused.
So many people do not know why the victims stay, and there are even some who think they deserve or like it because they stay or return. Unfortunately it is not as easy as walking out. A woman (or anyone being abused) are in the most danger leaving and right after they have left.
There is also threats to them, family and other repercussions threatened that make it hard. The control and power an abuser has on their victim is horrendous, and leaving is the single hardest thing an abused person will ever do. Those are the strongest chains to break, and no one who has never been bound by them will ever truly understand it. A woman will leave more than 5 times in many cases before she finally breaks free. We will get into the types of abuse later, and that will hopefully make it a bit easier to understand.
The holidays present every risk factor to become a reality. It is certain that the numbers of those battered will rise during holiday seasons pushing already financially strained domestic violence shelters and outreach organizations to and past their limits. There are so many cases that some won’t be able to get help if we do not pull together and do our part to make sure the funds and things needed are not in place when the crises calls come in. If a woman (or any abused person) finally gets the courage to call for help then we need to be able to help them ort all hope may be lost and they may die in that situation.
The adults are not the only ones affected by domestic violence. The silentvictims are the children, and the effects that it takes on them is horrible, even catastrophic. Children in the homes of domestic violence are more likely to eventually be abused as well.
Domestic violence in essence can take many different forms, and all of them take a devastating toll on the one being abused and the children in the home. It is basically purposeful intimidation. It combines all or one if not several aspects ranging from assault, sexual abuse and the threat or act of violence.
This is not a problem found only in poverty stricken areas or in the home of certain cultures or races. Domestic violence simply does not discriminate. One out of four homes are effected by domestic violence. Many cases go unreported. Crises calls will increases by almost ½ during the holidays, and many calls never come because people think they have to keep their kids in the home through the holidays.
Most of the time when a crises call comes in the persona being abused knows that if they do not get out right then it will be bad. Many are fleeing for their life and leaving all they have behind just to survive.
If you are in an Abusive Situation and decide not to Leave Do the Following:
Though getting out is always the best thing to do, some won’t go. If you are not ready then have a safety plan. Stash some clothes, important documents and keys somewhere outside the home with a friend. Have some money, a cell phone that your abuser knows nothing about and medications if you need them.
Know where you will go if you have to leave. You also need to know to avoid rooms like the garage, bathroom, kitchen and upper levels of the home if an argument breaks out. Avoiding rooms with weapons and reducing the chance bodily harm is essential to your survival. Be sure to note the bathroom is dangerous as well because of all of the hard surfaces and its enclosure.
Practice how you will safely get out of the home, make sure your children know when and how to call 911 from a neighbors phone if they can get out of the home. Having a code word and a meeting place will help as well. Know who you can count on for help. If you can get to your car drive to the police station. Protect all of your internet activities and online accounts. Make sure your neighbors are aware and will call 911 if they hear an incident.
Whether it is mental, physical, verbal, emotional or sexual all victims and survivors concur that the holidays are a dreaded time in the home of dv. Since most abusers isolate their victims and beat their self-esteem down so badly while making them completely dependent financially, geographically and the like getting help takes an act of great courage.
Some women (of the abused) do not even know that there are options out there for them, and many feel they couldn't make it on their own or that their abuser will harm or take the children. If a woman finds the courage to call, she must have some help or it will only reinforce her feelings of being helplessly trapped.
With the recent budget cuts for these services, it is up to the community to step up to the plate. While crises calls increase funding decreases. We are many of these women’s and abused people s only hope for a new life or even survival.
If the holiday cheer is less than cheerful and domestic violence ensues, stay as calm as possible and exercise the safety plan you have established. Give the greatest gift of love, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at for yourself or someone you love.
It is vital that you donate funds to Uplifting Change through Healing Words to help women and children in these situations, as well as clothes, toys and the like to local DV shelters and educate yourself on this epidemic. Do your part. It is time we take out place on the front lines in the war against DV and let these victims know that they are not alone!
Impact of Domestic Violence on Children
The children of domestic violence are often called the silent victims. Children exposed to dv are more likely to have great difficulties in life than their peers. They are also more susceptible to becoming disturbed, depressed, bullies, abusers, abused, addicts or a number of other devastating things in their life. It is not something left behind when they leave behind, rather it is something they spend their whole life trying to overcome.
These are children who will suffer behavioral, social, and emotional problems. They may become antisocial, psychopathic, depressed, suicidal or aggressive just to name some. Many will isolate, becoming hostile, angry and oppositional. They will also develop attitudinal problems and cognitive problems in most cases. Again, it is up to us to make sure there are resources in place to prevent these children from being forever consumed by the effects of dv. If all of us do a little it can add up to a whole lot!
Comprehensive assessment regarding children's experiences and trauma symptoms, as well as the protective factors present, should inform decision-making regarding the types of services and interventions needed for individual children and families living with violence.
Types of Abuse
It is an unfortunate misconception that id a woman (or abused individual) is not bruised and battered that they are not being abused. Abuse takes on several faces, and all of them are equally as devastating. Please take a moment to educate yourself on what dv looks like.
Verbal and Emotional Abuse
Insults, threats, insults, monitoring, controlling, intimidating and isolating are some good examples of this type of nonphysical abuse. Humiliation and belittling as well as making someone feel they aren't “good enough” or that they “never get it right” are some other examples of it.
Undermining an individual’s self-worth, competency and abilities are some of the many forms of emotional abuse. Constant criticism, name calling, manipulating feelings, inducing guilt and subverting the relationship between the victim and the children are also all abusive behaviors. Another form of emotional abuse may be consistently breaking promises and misleading someone only to tear them down. This is a devastating form of abuse, and many say it is far worse than physical abuse.
Technology has aided in creating an entirely new form of abuse. This can be done online, through social media, texting and the like to intimidate, bully and harass. This is a form of stalking, and stalking online often leads to stalking in person. Many times this is used to make the victim fearful. The abuser will threaten to take or kidnap children, harass, blackmail, harm pets and menace their victim relentlessly trying to break them down through fear and intimidation. This is against the law and charges can be filed.
Letter from a Survivor in the Throes of Escaping Her Abuser
I remember hearing my other being beaten, I swore I would never become a victim, and I did not understand why she kept us there, until I became the one things I swore I would never be…an abused woman- trapped by circumstance paralyzed by fear and completely codependent on my abuser.
Every day I fear he will do something to harm me and my daughter. I never thought he would hurt her, but now we are in counseling for sexual abuse. I do not know what the future holds, but without Uplifting Change I know I would not have a future to worry about.
I want to thank the people who made my escape possible and who are still helping me to rebuild today. Leaving is the easy part once you are finally away, rebuilding may take a lifetime and without the support and outreach I would not be able to do it even now that I am free.
Who is Uplifting Change, and how you can help make an Uplifting Change in the Life of a Family in Crises
Uplifting Change Trough Healing Words is a new organization. We are in desperate needs of affiliates, funds and volunteers to make this a successful mission to end domestic violence one family at a time.
We need help to make sure that when the calls come in we are here to help. We are also reaching out to instill hope in the survivors and help them get the referrals, resources and help they need to break free.
We offer literature and hope. We ask that you please help with any small amount to assist these families, because none should ever be denied escape from abuse. Also please donate toys, shoes, clothing and the like to your local DV shelters.