Domestic Violence and the New Year

Anyone who knows about domestic violence knows also that the rates of family violence soar during the holiday season. We now have Thanksgiving and Christmas behind us, and the sad fact is that some didn't make it through. The ones who did are not out of the woods yet.

With New Year’s fast approaching the dangers of brute family violence episodes are at an all-time high. The booze, family gatherings, stress to meet the extended family needs through the holidays, the changes in the weather and the added stressors it all comes together to becomes a recipe for disaster in many cases, and for murder in others.

This is not a way to drama things up, but it is the reality of the situation. Sadly, in many of these cases children witness the brutality and or murder in the home.

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words wants to make sure that no crises call goes unanswered and no cry for help has to be denied due to a lack of funds. The government has placed severe budget cuts on domestic violence outreach programs and shelters. It is falling on the community to help make sure the funds are in place to help these families get out when they find the strength to make the call.
 When a woman finally reaches the point of calling for help the situation is normally so far gone and so bad that their or their children’s life is in danger. It is an emergency situation that requires the organization to act fast. Removing the family from the home safely and quickly is essential, but that takes money and several organizations to work in unison to make that happen. None of this is possible without the help of the community.

The most unfortunate factor in it all is that most people will go about their day without even thinking of making a contribution to help these women and children. It does not take a large donation to make a difference. If everyone gave a little it is better than one person giving a lot. This is important, and it is something we all have to be concerned with! This effects the entire community, and eventually domestic violence will touch someone you love if it hasn't already. After all, 1 in 5 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
We have to stand up, and make the needed donations to keep outreach services running for these women. We cannot continue to go on thinking someone else is making the donations, or that our meager efforts won’t help. We all have to take responsibility to make sure that the funds are there. Edmund Burke summed it up when he stated "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” No one can imagine the hopelessness in a domestic violence situation, and if these women have nowhere to turn then not only will they be even more hopelessly trapped, but their abuser has no fear of consequences. They win. We cannot allow these abusers that kind of power.

By not contributing to the cause we are making the abuse even more possible, more severe and more prominent while we are also allowing the hopelessness to become a reality for many women and children.

We have to make the effort and the contributions to end this struggle, and help these families find freedom from the epidemic of family violence. It could be any of our daughters or grandchildren, and we would want them to find help. This is especially true since oftentimes the families are the last ones to know of the torture in the home.
It is only after the family is extracted from the home that many extended family members ever find out about the abuse. 
Without a doubt many of these women would die if there had been no intervention, and many others will die because there will be no funds to help them unless everyone does their part no matter how large or small to make the difference.

If you have it to give place make a donation to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words. The time to act is now. Donations are at an all-time low, and the contributions through the holidays were lower than they have been in many years. These families have never needed your help more than they do right now.

Please CLICK HERE to make your Donation Today. 

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Domestic Violence; a Story of Survival

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Domestic Violence; a Story of Survival: They call me a survivor, but some days I wonder why. I mean, my life is much better than it was, but financially I am devastated. There are...

Domestic Violence; a Story of Survival

They call me a survivor, but some days I wonder why. I mean, my life is much better than it was, but financially I am devastated. There are some days I look at my 3 year old and am overwhelmed with fear that I will not be able to sustain us. 

I was born into violence, I married very young and I never finished school or learned to drive. I never had life tools, friends or other things that “normal” people had. I was conditioned to become both the abuser and the abused.

After my mother finally left my step dad when I was in my late teens, and already married and separated I was drinking and doing drugs. I didn't know then that I was dealing with PTSD. I thought I was the oldest, so it was my responsibility to care for the family. Mom had 4 other children. 

I started stripping, and I frequented the biker clubs in the town in which I lived. They had become my family, and for the first time in my life I felt safe. I also picked up victimizing my family where my stepfather left off, especially my mother. I had become a monster. I was the product of my childhood and all I had seen in it. If anyone ever thinks that a violent home does not affect their children I am living proof otherwise.

It IS a fact that kids in these homes have a long and tough road ahead of them. Believe me, kids hear and see more than you give them credit for. I know!

It took a lot of doctors to properly diagnose me and get me the help I needed to stop being the abuser. However, my life turned in a whole other direction. I then became the abused.

I have been on the verge of death. I at times was my worst abuser. I met my little girl’s dad and he was not like the rest. He took me in, and my life changed. I was clean for years, we had stability, money and nice things. I never had any of this, and I can remember passing the homes of those who did wondering how they did it. What did they know that I didn't?

I knew I was failing his expectations, and the beatings were severe. That is until I got pregnant. He hit me once while I was pregnant and I finally went to the Women Shelter. I called and made a report, but he had connections. Nothing was ever done. I was scared. I went back. How could I raise a baby on my own, and surely the baby would change him. Yeah, she did.

The beatings turned into severe and devastating years of mental, emotional and physical abuse. No matter what I did it was wrong. No matter what I wore it was horrible. He made fun of my body, called me crater face and not a day went by that he did not tell me he hated me. He threatened me with my daughter. I did everything for him, and the more he hated me the harder I tried to stop making him feel bad! Seriously?

I was abused sexually so many times I cannot count by him. And then he would insult me afterwards, he would tell me do not touch him and that he hated me. These are just the nice things. I cannot even say some of the deplorable things that went on behind closed doors.

His “moods” changed on a dime and come out of nowhere. We never had a honeymoon phase. Sometimes it would last a month or more. One good day was all I needed for a breath of hope, but the bad times became more consistent until all of the good had been consumed. I do not even recognize myself anymore.

I cannot drive a car, and at 38 I am working on my high school diploma. I suffer from social anxiety disorder, I have no idea how to take a compliment, no interest in a relationship and I just feel that a life of abuse had disabled me. Today I am a mom, a sister a daughter and a friend, but abuse has crippled me. I am in constant fear and live with anxiety almost daily. There is always a fear of failure and a feeling of impending doom hovering over me. 

Without organizations like Uplifting Change Through Healing Words I would never have gotten out, and I still use outreach services whenever I have no other resources. 

Mothers like me are out there, and I know that. One of my worst memories is calling because I knew how would beat me and being turned away because there were no funds in outreach and no beds in the local shelter. He actually was able to find that I called and it was 20 times worse. I almost died. 

I never want to see that happen again to anyone ever. I am going to make a difference in this life from my experiences, but it takes people like you to help the victims who need it, because getting out is the beginning. Many like me will never completely heal from the wounds we endured. Please take a moment to donate to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words so that no one is ever turned away again due to lack of funds.

Today because of programs like this my child is in Play Therapy. I am hoping to break the cycle with her and someday learn to live again myself. I do not want to teach my child to be a victim, and no child should ever live like I did. Many do not make it through, and those who do…well, it is devastating to the point of disablement. Do whatever you can, we have to stop this epidemic, and it starts with you. 

Change a life today. You could save a life or alter the life of a child with a small donation to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words. Help break they cycle. 

Click Here to Donate 

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : This is a Perfect Example of Stockholm Syndrome an...

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : This is a Perfect Example of Stockholm Syndrome an...: What you need to Know  Please help us to be there for the crises calls, the victims, the survivors and the children of domest...

This is a Perfect Example of Stockholm Syndrome and The Cycle of Violence

What you need to Know 

Please help us to be there for the crises calls, the victims, the survivors and the children of domestic violence. Donate to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words. This is the only way to break the cycle, and it takes all of us to make a difference.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE

Stop Domestic Violence, it is everyone's business.

 

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words provides hope to the hopeless.

Our mission is to prevent domestic violence and bring awareness while aiding those in need of shelter, relocation, food, clothing and rental/utilities assistance.

We also offer referral services, options, protection, relocation, food and clothing. We hope to educate, empower, uplift and help break the cycle of domestic abuse. Some clients may qualify for rental assistance, utilities assistance and holiday programs.

Working with the community we can offer alternatives, awareness, legal aid, counseling referrals and relocation services just to name some. We also have to educate the communities and survivors concerning this epidemic.

We ensure that the community has resources in place to respond quickly and efficiently to clients who need services related to domestic violence.

We educate families, communities, individuals and legislators on how they can make a difference and break the cycle of domestic, child and elderly abuse.

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words is committed to building networks that support and protect the victims, survivors and the community.

"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Our Mission Statement: Uplifting Change Through He...

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Our Mission Statement: Uplifting Change Through He...: Uplifting Change Through Healing Words provides hope to the hopeless. Our mission is to prevent domestic violence and bring awar...