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Sunday, December 29, 2013

Domestic Violence and the New Year

Anyone who knows about domestic violence knows also that the rates of family violence soar during the holiday season. We now have Thanksgiving and Christmas behind us, and the sad fact is that some didn't make it through. The ones who did are not out of the woods yet.


With New Year’s fast approaching the dangers of brute family violence episodes are at an all-time high. The booze, family gatherings, stress to meet the extended family needs through the holidays, the changes in the weather and the added stressors it all comes together to becomes a recipe for disaster in many cases, and for murder in others.

This is not a way to drama things up, but it is the reality of the situation. Sadly, in many of these cases children witness the brutality and or murder in the home.

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words wants to make sure that no crises call goes unanswered and no cry for help has to be denied due to a lack of funds. The government has placed severe budget cuts on domestic violence outreach programs and shelters. It is falling on the community to help make sure the funds are in place to help these families get out when they find the strength to make the call.
 When a woman finally reaches the point of calling for help the situation is normally so far gone and so bad that their or their children’s life is in danger. It is an emergency situation that requires the organization to act fast. Removing the family from the home safely and quickly is essential, but that takes money and several organizations to work in unison to make that happen. None of this is possible without the help of the community.

The most unfortunate factor in it all is that most people will go about their day without even thinking of making a contribution to help these women and children. It does not take a large donation to make a difference. If everyone gave a little it is better than one person giving a lot. This is important, and it is something we all have to be concerned with! This effects the entire community, and eventually domestic violence will touch someone you love if it hasn't
 already. After all, 1 in 5 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
We have to stand up, and make the needed donations to keep outreach services running for these women. We cannot continue to go on thinking someone else is making the donations, or that our meager efforts won’t help. We all have to take responsibility to make sure that the funds are there. Edmund Burke summed it up when he stated "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” No one can imagine the hopelessness in a domestic violence situation, and if these women have nowhere to turn then not only will they be even more hopelessly trapped, but their abuser has no fear of consequences. They win. We cannot allow these abusers that kind of power.

By not contributing to the cause we are making the abuse even more possible, more severe and more prominent while we are also allowing the hopelessness to become a reality for many women and children.

We have to make the effort and the contributions to end this struggle, and help these families find freedom from the epidemic of family violence. It could be any of our daughters or grandchildren, and we would want them to find help. This is especially true since oftentimes the families are the last ones to know of the torture in the home.
It is only after the family is extracted from the home that many extended family members ever find out about the abuse. 
Without a doubt many of these women would die if there had been no intervention, and many others will die because there will be no funds to help them unless everyone does their part no matter how large or small to make the difference.

If you have it to give place make a donation to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words. The time to act is now. Donations are at an all-time low, and the contributions through the holidays were lower than they have been in many years. These families have never needed your help more than they do right now.



Please CLICK HERE to make your Donation Today. 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Domestic Violence; a Story of Survival

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Domestic Violence; a Story of Survival: They call me a survivor, but some days I wonder why. I mean, my life is much better than it was, but financially I am devastated. There are...

Domestic Violence; a Story of Survival

They call me a survivor, but some days I wonder why. I mean, my life is much better than it was, but financially I am devastated. There are some days I look at my 3 year old and am overwhelmed with fear that I will not be able to sustain us. 

I was born into violence, I married very young and I never finished school or learned to drive. I never had life tools, friends or other things that “normal” people had. I was conditioned to become both the abuser and the abused.

After my mother finally left my step dad when I was in my late teens, and already married and separated I was drinking and doing drugs. I didn't know then that I was dealing with PTSD. I thought I was the oldest, so it was my responsibility to care for the family. Mom had 4 other children. 

I started stripping, and I frequented the biker clubs in the town in which I lived. They had become my family, and for the first time in my life I felt safe. I also picked up victimizing my family where my stepfather left off, especially my mother. I had become a monster. I was the product of my childhood and all I had seen in it. If anyone ever thinks that a violent home does not affect their children I am living proof otherwise.

It IS a fact that kids in these homes have a long and tough road ahead of them. Believe me, kids hear and see more than you give them credit for. I know!

It took a lot of doctors to properly diagnose me and get me the help I needed to stop being the abuser. However, my life turned in a whole other direction. I then became the abused.

I have been on the verge of death. I at times was my worst abuser. I met my little girl’s dad and he was not like the rest. He took me in, and my life changed. I was clean for years, we had stability, money and nice things. I never had any of this, and I can remember passing the homes of those who did wondering how they did it. What did they know that I didn't?

I knew I was failing his expectations, and the beatings were severe. That is until I got pregnant. He hit me once while I was pregnant and I finally went to the Women Shelter. I called and made a report, but he had connections. Nothing was ever done. I was scared. I went back. How could I raise a baby on my own, and surely the baby would change him. Yeah, she did.

The beatings turned into severe and devastating years of mental, emotional and physical abuse. No matter what I did it was wrong. No matter what I wore it was horrible. He made fun of my body, called me crater face and not a day went by that he did not tell me he hated me. He threatened me with my daughter. I did everything for him, and the more he hated me the harder I tried to stop making him feel bad! Seriously?

I was abused sexually so many times I cannot count by him. And then he would insult me afterwards, he would tell me do not touch him and that he hated me. These are just the nice things. I cannot even say some of the deplorable things that went on behind closed doors.

His “moods” changed on a dime and come out of nowhere. We never had a honeymoon phase. Sometimes it would last a month or more. One good day was all I needed for a breath of hope, but the bad times became more consistent until all of the good had been consumed. I do not even recognize myself anymore.

I cannot drive a car, and at 38 I am working on my high school diploma. I suffer from social anxiety disorder, I have no idea how to take a compliment, no interest in a relationship and I just feel that a life of abuse had disabled me. Today I am a mom, a sister a daughter and a friend, but abuse has crippled me. I am in constant fear and live with anxiety almost daily. There is always a fear of failure and a feeling of impending doom hovering over me. 

Without organizations like Uplifting Change Through Healing Words I would never have gotten out, and I still use outreach services whenever I have no other resources. 

Mothers like me are out there, and I know that. One of my worst memories is calling because I knew how would beat me and being turned away because there were no funds in outreach and no beds in the local shelter. He actually was able to find that I called and it was 20 times worse. I almost died. 

I never want to see that happen again to anyone ever. I am going to make a difference in this life from my experiences, but it takes people like you to help the victims who need it, because getting out is the beginning. Many like me will never completely heal from the wounds we endured. Please take a moment to donate to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words so that no one is ever turned away again due to lack of funds.



Today because of programs like this my child is in Play Therapy. I am hoping to break the cycle with her and someday learn to live again myself. I do not want to teach my child to be a victim, and no child should ever live like I did. Many do not make it through, and those who do…well, it is devastating to the point of disablement. Do whatever you can, we have to stop this epidemic, and it starts with you. 

Change a life today. You could save a life or alter the life of a child with a small donation to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words. Help break they cycle. 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : This is a Perfect Example of Stockholm Syndrome an...

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : This is a Perfect Example of Stockholm Syndrome an...: What you need to Know  Please help us to be there for the crises calls, the victims, the survivors and the children of domest...

This is a Perfect Example of Stockholm Syndrome and The Cycle of Violence



What you need to Know 



Please help us to be there for the crises calls, the victims, the survivors and the children of domestic violence. Donate to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words. This is the only way to break the cycle, and it takes all of us to make a difference.





Stop Domestic Violence, it is everyone's business.

 
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words provides hope to the hopeless.

Our mission is to prevent domestic violence and bring awareness while aiding those in need of shelter, relocation, food, clothing and rental/utilities assistance.


We also offer referral services, options, protection, relocation, food and clothing. We hope to educate, empower, uplift and help break the cycle of domestic abuse. Some clients may qualify for rental assistance, utilities assistance and holiday programs.


Working with the community we can offer alternatives, awareness, legal aid, counseling referrals and relocation services just to name some. We also have to educate the communities and survivors concerning this epidemic.


We ensure that the community has resources in place to respond quickly and efficiently to clients who need services related to domestic violence.


We educate families, communities, individuals and legislators on how they can make a difference and break the cycle of domestic, child and elderly abuse.


Uplifting Change Through Healing Words is committed to building networks that support and protect the victims, survivors and the community.


"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi


Tuesday, December 3, 2013


Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Our Mission Statement: Uplifting Change Through He...

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : Our Mission Statement: Uplifting Change Through He...: Uplifting Change Through Healing Words provides hope to the hopeless. Our mission is to prevent domestic violence and bring awar...

Our Mission Statement: Uplifting Change Through Healing Words

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words provides hope to the hopeless.




Our mission is to prevent domestic violence and bring awareness while aiding those in need of shelter, relocation, food, clothing and rental/utilities assistance.

We also offer referral services, options, protection, relocation, food and clothing. We hope to educate, empower, uplift and help break the cycle of domestic abuse. Some clients may qualify for rental assistance, utilities assistance and holiday programs.

Working with the community we can offer alternatives, awareness, legal aid, counseling referrals and relocation services just to name some. We also have to educate the communities and survivors concerning this epidemic.

We ensure that the community has resources in place to respond quickly and efficiently to clients who need services related to domestic violence.
We educate families, communities, individuals and legislators on how they can make a difference and break the cycle of domestic, child and elderly abuse.
Uplifting Change Through Healing Words is committed to building networks that support and protect the victims, survivors and the community.



https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/2bn60/tw/d1zURd?


Uplifting Change Through Healing Words needs your help to prevent elderly, child and domestic abuse. This is a community funded, non-profit organization.

click here to DONATE


Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : A Reason to Keep Giving

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : A Reason to Keep Giving: Donating is not about tax breaks or keeping up with the Joneses. It is about love. The love we have for our fellow man, and what God ex...

A Reason to Keep Giving



Donating is not about tax breaks or keeping up with the Joneses. It is about love. The love we have for our fellow man, and what God expects from each one of us. It is about doing something for someone without anyone ever knowing and the blessings we reap because of what we have sewed.

Giving is about the children who will be helped out of situations where they see their mothers severely beaten. Some stay too long and these children witness their mother die or kill their father in self-defense. It is also about the elderly who are beaten or abused, and even the men who suffer abuse at the hands of their partner. It is about being our brother’s keeper, and what we would want if it were our child, mother, sister or brother.

While there are many ways for a man or woman to measure their success, a true accomplishment comes when you have truly and sincerely touched the life of another person. Uplifting Change Through Healing Words does not only allow you to touch and change a life, but in many cases you are helping to save a life. If we turn our backs on these families who need us how are we any different than the one abusing them.

Don’t turn your back on these victims, but reach out and help us pull them from the fire. Please donate to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words today. I assure you that this is very real, and we hope to never turn a family in a crises away because the funds were not there. With the budget cuts it is up to all of us to take a stand against this epidemic, because domestic violence is everyone’s business. 

Time is running out for many of the victims, and we are asking you to do what you can to save a life today.

There are so many charity’s out there, and sometimes people come on to the scene that make us question whether or not they should give, if it is real or if the money s even going to where the organization says it will.

There are also the people who get teared up, and though moved, feel as if the little they could spare would not make a difference anyways. That is not true, whether it is $5.00 or $100.00 it all makes a difference.

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words can only make a difference if you are willing to help us help these families who really cannot wait for assistance. Many times when a crises call comes in action needs to be taken immediately. It takes great courage to call, and the window of time to save a life is very brief.

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words offers assistance to help families relocate, get their basic needs and assistance through the holidays for survivors just to name some. 

We also try to refer clients to professionals who can assist them on the road to healing and breaking the cycle. Many of these families leave with only the cloths on their backs. Getting them out is just the beginning, and we need all of the help we can get to offer hope to the hopeless this holiday season.

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Deuteronomy 15:11 - For the poor shall never cease out of the land: therefore I command thee, saying, Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in thy land.

Proverbs 19:17 - He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.

Proverbs 14:31 - He that oppresseth the poor reproacheth his Maker: but he that honoureth him hath mercy on the poor.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : The Long Journey Home

Uplifting Change Through Healing Words : The Long Journey Home: Finding Self-Forgiveness after Abuse A survivor may be out of their situation, but the effects of abuse can last a lifetime without the...

The Long Journey Home

Finding Self-Forgiveness after Abuse

A survivor may be out of their situation, but the effects of abuse can last a lifetime without the help that they need to move through it. Sometimes long after we have left our abuser we become our own worst enemy.

We continue repeating the complaints and criticisms to ourselves that our abusers caused us to believe. When we are consistently bashing ourselves there is not much room left for healing.

Survivors may go through years after leaving an abusive relationship believing the things their abuser told them without ever realizing their self-worth or finding the forgiveness they need for themselves to heal.

Forgiving yourself is oftentimes much harder than forgiving others.

As many children raised in homes where domestic violence, sexual trauma, neglect or emotional abuse was present knows, it is easier to come to terms with the abuse that you endured that to forgive yourself for the patterns it causes you to fall into down the line.

Those early traumas cause relationships to be poisoned, good people we encounter we tend to withdraw from and even friendships may suffer. The patterns we become prone to must be dealt with and worked on for our entire lives through.


We have to embark on a path to self-forgiveness or we won’t ever be truly free.
One of the biggest offenders is self-criticism. After years of hearing how mentally or emotionally unstable you are, ugly, fat or worthless, you tend to believe these things.
One suggestion that will help you to start identifying the patterns is to start journaling. Prompt yourself to identify the self-criticisms that you are prone to repeating to yourself. One good example is, “I am fat and ugly, and I won’t ever find anyone who will truly love me.”
You also want to identify your hopes and your dreams that lie suppressed under the criticism. All too many times we lose sight of these early on in abusive situations. Look then for ways to reach those goals, hopes and dreams while also finding ways that you can heal.
There are support groups, advocates, councilors and many other organizations to help you find solid ground. Still, no matter how many times you try to find healing, it only comes once forgiveness has been achieved. You may have to start your day over 30 times in one day, but that is ok. It is a matter of reconditioning. Sometimes staying positive is a struggle, but you have to do it.

Forgiveness will get easier in time, and the journey to healing can begin.

Also, if you want to help these survivors to find their strength, self-forgiveness and ultimately to heal you can donate to Uplifting Change Through Healing Words so that we can do our part. This is a community funded program, and for us to help them it takes all of us pulling together to make that happen.

Click Here to Donate